0:09 - I like the fade in at the start. You can also fade in the sound, if you want.
0:18 - The action match of the door works quite well, although I would suggest placing the camera a little further to the right in order to create a more effective transition.
0:43 - The eye-lines in this particular shot/ counter-shot sequence are rather weird. Although technically you're not breaking the 180 degree rule, it looks a little like Reece is not looking at Barry; you need to sort out the visual geography of the scene. Some sort of 2-shot or long shot, or an over-the-shoulder shot, would help to establish the physical relationship of the two characters. The shots themselves are okay for MS, although a little variety wouldn't hurt - perhaps some CUs, for example
1:03 - It looks like you've got the clips in the wrong order or something (the two "rigggght....."s in consecutive shots of Reece - the first one doesn't seem to fit...) Also, Reece has changed position - one would expect to see him lean forward (it's a little odd that he would be sat back in one shot then forward in another with no evidence of how he got there
1:21 - The shot of Reece here is slightly oddly framed; could do with being slightly further away, or framed a little higher in order to avoid cutting off the top of his head
1:28 - Again, it's a little odd the way the angle has changed here. I think you missed a trick by not putting Barry in the other chair, since then you could have done CU/ 2-shot/ LS etc.
1:38 - Not keen on the pan here; it's a little shakey, although it does establish the geography I mentioned above.
1:42 - The MCU on Reece is too quick; you really need to hold it in order to capture the reaction more effectively
2:02 - A rather odd fade here; you missed an opportunity for an action match here (for example, Barry opening the door). A fade would normallydenote a more substantial passage of time
The final shot is quite effective, but I think a cut to a CU of Barry's face would have been even more impressive. The script is quite good, by the way.
I think that you need to be somewhat more imaginative about how you shoot your final piece; there is a lack of range in terms of shots and a slight issue about the editing, which is a little clunky. As mentioned, the continuity of the eyeline doesn't quite work and you should really make sure that you look carefully at this to see what I mean.
As it stands, I could probably argue this piece into level 3, just, on the strength that there are a range of shots (albeit quite small) and some reasonable examples of editing and continuity. But I think you guys are capable of a lot more...
What happened to the Dynamite Kitty ident (!)
ReplyDelete0:09 - I like the fade in at the start. You can also fade in the sound, if you want.
0:18 - The action match of the door works quite well, although I would suggest placing the camera a little further to the right in order to create a more effective transition.
0:43 - The eye-lines in this particular shot/ counter-shot sequence are rather weird. Although technically you're not breaking the 180 degree rule, it looks a little like Reece is not looking at Barry; you need to sort out the visual geography of the scene. Some sort of 2-shot or long shot, or an over-the-shoulder shot, would help to establish the physical relationship of the two characters. The shots themselves are okay for MS, although a little variety wouldn't hurt - perhaps some CUs, for example
1:03 - It looks like you've got the clips in the wrong order or something (the two "rigggght....."s in consecutive shots of Reece - the first one doesn't seem to fit...) Also, Reece has changed position - one would expect to see him lean forward (it's a little odd that he would be sat back in one shot then forward in another with no evidence of how he got there
1:21 - The shot of Reece here is slightly oddly framed; could do with being slightly further away, or framed a little higher in order to avoid cutting off the top of his head
1:28 - Again, it's a little odd the way the angle has changed here. I think you missed a trick by not putting Barry in the other chair, since then you could have done CU/ 2-shot/ LS etc.
1:38 - Not keen on the pan here; it's a little shakey, although it does establish the geography I mentioned above.
1:42 - The MCU on Reece is too quick; you really need to hold it in order to capture the reaction more effectively
2:02 - A rather odd fade here; you missed an opportunity for an action match here (for example, Barry opening the door). A fade would normallydenote a more substantial passage of time
The final shot is quite effective, but I think a cut to a CU of Barry's face would have been even more impressive. The script is quite good, by the way.
I think that you need to be somewhat more imaginative about how you shoot your final piece; there is a lack of range in terms of shots and a slight issue about the editing, which is a little clunky. As mentioned, the continuity of the eyeline doesn't quite work and you should really make sure that you look carefully at this to see what I mean.
As it stands, I could probably argue this piece into level 3, just, on the strength that there are a range of shots (albeit quite small) and some reasonable examples of editing and continuity. But I think you guys are capable of a lot more...