This is our first rough cut of 'DECIPHER'. At the moment particularly, the most important problem of this rough cut is that we don't yet have any titles (yet we've already been working with that to get it sorted).
To pick out a few problems first, the pan at the beginning is sloppy, sort of lazy really and doesn't quiet angle right, we'll fix this by using a different shot with that scene rather than cutting to it as Reece is already speaking as it is panning (its great that we have so much footage that we have several angles of shots to choose from).
Secondly, the shot were Reece goes to knock out Barry is obviously too fake, so we're going to cut it out further.
Also, one of the shots we had to crop because you could see our bags, hasn't been posisoned back into frame, leaving a black line across the shot - this is simple to fix.
I think all that is left to do is review the shots we're using, and look at our tranistion methods again, as sometimes they seem a little... weird. Other than that, we need to review opening credits, title and the film itself fully to decide what we want to do.
Also, we know for sure that we need at least one voice over as I've added that note in on a title so that it was absolutely impossible that we would forget.
You have identified that you need to include titles. Are these going to be superimposed (appearing over the action) or intertitles (in between the action?). I would suggest intertitles. Can you use your After Effcts skill to create an interesing "Dynamite Kitty" logo?
ReplyDelete0:00 - as you have identified, you could do with including a distributor ident as well as your studio ident.
0:06 - the balance of the music and the dialogue is a little off - you need to bring the music down slightly.
0:16 - as you have identified, the pan here is weak and the framing at the end is poor. I would use straight cuts. Ideally, you will make sure that Reece's face remains somewhat hard to see in order to emphasise the sense of mystery
0:22 - the shot here seems somewhat out of place. Are you trying to foreshadow the action later? If so, the shot needs to be longer. Might it be worth including an almost-subliminal shot of the "dead" Flossi (in the manner of the end of "Seven")?
0:25 - the shot here is very good. It might be worth trying to find some sort of effect (on CS3, this is the Cineon converter) to wash out the image a little, in order to make it look more cinematic? I think you need to boost the volume of the dialogue
0:30 - thinking about it, I would use intertitles - with the music and the nature of the action, these would create more of a mysterious effect
0:35 - this is s smashing shot; the transition is also good, although I would make it slightly longer (and perhaps slow the action down a little, to emphasise the dreamlike quality?)
0:37 - I would be tempted to start this shot a few frames later, to avoid the slight pause at the start
1:00 - you might want to use the same sort of transition to go "back" to the interrogation rather than a cut in order to maintain consistency? I think it would be better to just do straight cuts - it makes the action flow better - so lose the crossfade here
1:17 - similarly, I would lost the crossfade here
1:22 - slight continuity thing: in the previous shot of the tunnel, we have seen them entering. Then they enter again. You might want to start this slightly later, from the point that they enter the frame? Don't fade at the end of the shot. How are you going to get from this shot to the next? I would include a production intertitle.
1:44 - I would be tempted to try slowing all the black and white footage down, to give it a more dreamlike quality? It might look rubbish, but it's worth a try...
1:45 - as you've mentioned, this needs to be cut slightly earlier
1:53 - maybe hold the shot of barry a little longer, and make the transition a little longer - it is too quick at the moment
1:54 - slow down and hold the shot of flossi longer to have more impact
2:06 - need to cut slightly earlier, before the camera moves
2:11 - I would slow the tilt on Reece down loads - maybe evern by 90% - to emphasise the moment
2:29 - have the title come up here
On the whole, this is on the cusp of L3/4 (and indeed would be L4 with the titles included). If the editing is slicker and you follow my suggestions about slowing down the b&w sequences, as well as making sure the studio stuff and titles are accurate, there is no reason why this should not get a high L4 mark.